Chapter 704: Mistrust
Chapter 704: Mistrust
Jadis blinked away the shock from her abrupt transition back into the mortal world. The way her senses reeled from suddenly being in her three bodies again did not help with how her mind was spinning like a whirlpool, her emotions dragging her down to a darkness of confusion, anger, and disbelief. The things Samleos had said, what he had implied, the fact that he was even talking to her like a person would—it was all too much for her to process at once, even with triple the attention span. How much was the truth, and how much was a lie just said to mess with her, to undermine her confidence and trust? Was any of it true? Was any of it a deception at all? What if Samleos had been completely honest with her? How the fuck was she supposed to—
“Jadis? Are you alright?”
Eir’s soft question pulled Jadis out of the spiral that had threatened to consume her. Taking a deep breath, Jay slowly let it out as she steadied her emotions. Freaking out wasn’t helpful. Letting Samleos influence her with just a few unverified claims and implied suggestions was, frankly, idiotic. In fact, it was exactly the sort of thing that an enemy would want her to do. That whole conversation was probably a trick, something meant to fuck with her. There was no way anything Samleos had to say to her was legitimate. Why would D let Samleos talk to her if the things he had to say would turn her against him?
And yet, D had let the conversation take place, hadn’t he?
“I’m fine,” Jay finally said, giving Eir the best smile she could manage. “D was just being his usual self again. I—”
As Jay spoke, she reached out to put a hand on Eir’s shoulder but stopped as she realized that there was something already in her clenched right fist. Opening her hand, Jay’s face went cold as she stared at the crumpled cigarette with a burnt end resting on her palm.
Jay could see the question in Eir’s eyes as she looked at the tiny object, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she used her hands to close Jay’s fingers, hiding the cigarette from view as her purple eyes darted to the two men in the room who were getting to their feet.
“What an unusual experience,” Kestil murmured as he stood. “Not at all like Lady Jocelyn’s ritual and visiting All Father Valtar.”
“Of course Destarious’ realm would be a place of confusion and chaos,” Hraustrekr stated while putting on one of the robes that had been prepared for the ritual. “I would expect nothing sane there. Why I thought his answers would be any better…”
The elder prince trailed off, his frown deepening at the apparent thought of whatever answer D had given him to his one question. As Jadis got to all of her feet, she realized that thanks to Samleos, she had no idea what either prince had asked Destarious, or what the god’s responses had been. However, with their proximity in the last moments, she had to assume they had heard her question, though possibly not D’s whispered answer.
Grabbing her own robes while making sure that Eir had hers put on first, Dys addressed Kestil, since she figured he was more likely to give her a truthful answer.
“How did your time with D go? Was his answer… useful?”
“I… am not certain that either of us received the answer we were looking for,” the prince replied, his tone carefully neutral. “I rather wish I had more questions to ask for clarification, yet I am not certain that anything Destarious has to say would offer any sort of clarity at all.”
“He is the god of lies and chaos,” Hraustrekr snapped as he belted his robe. “His advice would see the empire in ruins, and he would laugh a thousand times for every inch we fell. Even you can see that much, Kestil.”
“Perhaps…” the younger prince nodded his head slowly, his eyes still glazed in thought. “Well, it was a troubling experience, I agree. At least the teacakes were a delight.”
“What teacakes?” Hraustrekr frowned at his brother. “Destarious served us fruit tarts.”
As Kestil turned to face his brother, Dys frowned at them both.
“He didn’t give you cookies?” she asked with confusion. “He always has a plate of cookies.”
“No, they were teacakes,” Prince Kestil stated firmly. “With a sweet icing of… some pleasing flavor.”
“They were fruit tarts,” Prince Hraustrekr insisted. “I cannot place what fruit they were, but they were absolutely not teacakes, and they had no frosting. He even named them as such.”
“No, he said, ‘have a sweet’ when he offered the plate,” Kestil corrected. “That could have meant either.”
“Yes, but… they most certainly looked nothing like teacakes,” Hraustrekr seemed to struggle with either his words or his recollection of the encounter, his face contorting in strange ways.
“They looked—” Kestil began, then cut himself off and started again. “Their appearance was…”
As the two stared at each other, Dys shook her head.
“Don’t think about it too much. Everything in his realm is like that. Just—I just hope you two can work something out based on his answers to whatever you asked him.”
The princes glared at each other again, but there wasn’t as much fire in their eyes as there was doubt. After a moment, Hraustrekr stiffened his back, his demeanor returning to the authoritarian aura Jadis was used to seeing. His eyes flashed as he turned his gaze on Dys, then swept them over the rest of Jadis and Eir.
“This was a waste of time and effort. I should feel greater disappointment at the loss of so valuable a resource, yet seeing as you apparently squander your questions on getting class advice, I suppose this is just the normal result of these rituals. Good day to you Lady Jadis, Lady Eir.”
With that, Prince Hraustrekr marched out the door.
“I am… not as disappointed as my brother,” Kestil spoke into the silence left in Hraustrekr’s wake. “Though I am no less disquieted. I will need to give this all some thought.”
Moving to leave as well, Prince Kestil paused before reaching the door and turned halfway back to look up at Dys.
“I hope whatever answer Destarious gave in regard to your question was at least straightforward, as ours were not.”
“I’m honestly not sure that it was,” Dys shrugged helplessly. “I’m really never sure with him.”
“I see,” the elf nodded thoughtfully.
For whatever reason, Jadis thought that Kestil’s expression was improved by her answer, as though hearing that she wasn’t able to understand D any better than him was a comfort.
“Thank you for your time, both of you,” he said with a slight nod towards Dys and Eir. “My invitation for dinner still stands, if you find the time, though I quite understand if you do not.”
In the seconds that ticked by after the two princes departed, the three of Jadis stood silently in place, her thoughts twisting into frayed strings and tangled knots. She probably would have stayed like that for quite a while, if it were not for the gentle hand that was placed on Jay’s arm.
Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.
“Tell me what happened,” Eir spoke softly, like she was addressing a child. “What did Destarious say to you?”
“That obvious I’m messed up right now, huh?”
“Yes,” Eir smiled at her. “Yes, it is. Please, let me help.”
Jadis let out three long exhalations, still finding that she was struggling to keep her thoughts in order.
“Not here. Let’s get dressed and get to our room. I’ll tell you everything.”
And that was exactly what Jadis did. Once they were alone together in their shared room, Jadis talked. She wasn’t sure how long it took to tell Eir the full story, but she carefully recounted every word said, every tiny detail of the encounter. She left nothing out, starting from the moment she realized that she was standing in her childhood room, to the last words said by D before he dismissed her from his realm.
Eir sat quietly through the whole explanation, saying nothing, until Jadis was finished. When she did speak, some minutes after Jadis had fallen silent, she did so with the voice of a woman who was treading carefully, yet determinedly, through dangerous grounds.
“Do you believe Samleos was being truthful?”
“I… don’t know. Honestly, I can think of a million ways that he could have been spinning what he was saying. I mean, he was being purposefully abstract about a lot of what he said, even when he was being direct. It was mostly all implications, nothing truly concrete. It feels like he said everything the way he did just to shake me.”
“If that is what you believe, then why are you letting his words effect you?”
“Because he’s fucking right!” Dys cursed into her hands.
Dys was sitting on the bed, between her other two selves, leaning with her elbows on her knees, hands cupped over her face. Jay was sitting back with her arms propping her up as she stared at the ceiling, while Syd had her arms and legs crossed, brow furrowed in thought. Eir sat on one of their many chairs before the three of her, hands folded patiently in her lap as she watched Jadis think. When she spoke again, it was Jay who talked, her eyes still on the ceiling.
“I don’t know how I died. I really don’t think about it much, because there’s nothing I can do about it, right? I could have had a brain aneurism, a heart attack, or any other number of random, fatal medical crises that hit when you least expect it. I could have been shot, or blown up, or the roof could have caved in on my head. Anything could have happened and I wouldn’t have been able to do a thing about it at the time, much less now. But I just… I really don’t know how I died. If any of those things had happened to me, I would think I would have some memory of it happening, you know? The start, at least. Fuck, if I was having a stroke, I should remember smelling toast. I’m pretty sure that’s how that works. I should remember some small clue of how it happened.”
“But I don’t,” Dys spoke into her hands. “I don’t remember any of that happening. I was in my dorm room. I had just texted a friend to let them know that I would be available for a study session later that evening. My roommate wasn’t there, so I was alone. The door was closed, but I could hear the room across the hallway playing some trap music really loudly again like they always did. My laptop was open in front of me and I was just about to hit play on a playlist so I could use my earbuds to drown out all that noise and—”
“That’s it. That’s where my memory cuts off,” Syd finished. “It’s like a light switch was turned off. One second, I’m standing in front of my desk, the next second I’m being pulled out of the aether by D, and he’s telling me that my soul was just… floating out in the void. How? How did I end up floating in the void? How did I die? I don’t—I just don’t know.”
“Do you want to go back?”
Eir’s softly spoken question caused all three of Jadis’ bodies to look up at her. She expected her to look sad, or confused, or maybe even upset with her. Instead, Eir’s expression showed nothing but loving concern. There wasn’t even a hint of reproach at the thought of Jadis wanting to return to her old life. Just the support of a person who loved her.
“No,” Jay said, her tone firm. “No, I don’t. I miss my family, I really do. I wish I could see them again, at the very least to give them a proper goodbye. But being reborn here on Oros is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You and Alex and Aila and Hope and—fuck, everyone are the best things that ever happened to me. I would never trade any of you for anything, past, present, or future.”
“Then,” Eir took a large breath as she continued, “I suppose we must ask the deeper question. What changes if Destarious is responsible for your death, as Samleos has implied?”
“I don’t know,” Dys shook her head. “Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. If he did kill me, and then lied about it, it calls into question whether or not anything he’s ever told me was truthful. Honestly, I’ve always assumed that he’s hiding things from me. That just seems like his nature.”
“He is the God of Lies,” Syd interjected. “He probably can’t help himself.”
“But something just feels off about all this now,” Dys continued. “I feel like I’m missing some important context, like I’m not getting the whole picture. I thought I understood what was going on. Samleos is trying to destroy the world, the rest of the gods are fighting against that, and it’s a stalemate that’s been going on since the world began. But with how Samleos was talking, that doesn’t feel like the whole story anymore.”
“Honestly, I really want to talk with some of the other gods and ask some real questions,” Jay muttered as she ran her fingers across her scalp. “I feel like D isn’t going to be straight with me unless I have enough knowledge to challenge any lies or misdirections he tries to pull on me.”
“But D is the only god guaranteed to be there during your rituals,” Syd sighed in frustration. “And he’s the only one who is actually required to answer those three questions. Even if Lyssandria shows up, she doesn’t have to say anything. In fact, I’m pretty sure she isn’t supposed to answer my questions per the rules or Covenant or whatever agreement keeps all the gods cooperating with each other.”
“You could… ask Jocelyn for help,” Eir hesitantly pointed out. “To speak with Valtar.”
“Maybe,” Jay frowned at the suggestion. “But if I did ask her for help, she’s going to want an explanation. No, she would deserve an explanation. And she’d hear any questions I’d ask Valtar anyway. Depending on what I ask, I could be opening up a whole bucket of worms that Jocelyn would be dragged into.”
Eir looked confused for a moment but then shook her head and pushed past what had probably been a confusing expression for her.
“Jocelyn can be trusted. She is a good person. You know the same can be said of Wilhelm. I believe both of them are just as worthy of any of your confidences as I am. If you are set upon uncovering whatever it is that you believe that D is hiding from you, then you have my full support. So, I hope you know you can trust my judgement when I say that Jocelyn can be trusted as well.”
“Of course I trust your judgement,” Jay said before leaning close to Eir and giving her a tender kiss. “If you say I can trust her with my secrets, I believe you.”
“But that’s going to be one awkward conversation,” Syd muttered.
“Yes, I imagine it will be,” Eir smiled as she cupper her hands on either side of Jay’s face. “But you will be able to have it, and everything will be fine. In the meantime, I want you to put aside the worry that is eating away at your heart. It isn’t like you to let doubt worm its way through your soul, eating holes in your confidence. You are Jadis, our Jadis, and you will prevail. There is no doubt in my heart of that. There should be none in yours.”
“Thank you,” Jay said quietly as she pulled Eir close against her. “I needed that.”
“You are always welcome, my love.”
Standing up and shaking her limbs out, Syd exhaled loudly as she stepped towards the door.
“I can’t do shit about whatever D and Sam are doing in their realms or whatever, anyway,” she said as she bounced on her toes. “Fuck them. I’ve got shit to do here. I’m not going to let myself be distracted by whatever bullshit they’ve got going on.”
“Quite an unusual way of addressing the gods,” Eir laughed softly as Jay gave her another kiss.
“Yeah, well, I’m not a saint,” Syd quipped as she reached for the door.
“Fuck!” Dys cursed as her other two selves froze in place.
“What is it?”
“I forgot Noct was here!” Dys said as she and her other selves stood up in a panic. “She should have been here to discuss all this too!”
“She’s so quiet all the time, I forgot she was still in the compound,” Syd moaned as she pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes. “I’m an asshole.”
“I’m sure she’ll accept an apology,” Eir said reassuringly. “Besides, you do need to discuss all of this with everyone once we return to Volto.”
“Yeah, we do,” Jay agreed. “At the very least, I need to give Noct the cliff notes before we go to Destarious’ High Temple.”
“Cliff notes…?”
“Uh, it means a brief rundown,” Jay explained. “Fuck, my head space is still a little focused on Earth lingo. I need to stop that.”
“I understand,” Eir said as she got up from her chair and followed behind Jay as she headed for the door. “However, I think I may have lost a detail. Why are we going to Destarious’ temple?”
“Well, putting everything else aside, D still gave me an answer to my question about Alex’s class,” Dys said as they entered the hallway. “I’m not sure if I can trust him, but he’s still my patron, and I don’t really have any other leads anyway.”
“So, we’re going to go ask High Priest Sholto about new underwear,” Syd finished as they reached the stairs. “And I just have to pray that it’s some kind of code phrase.”
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